Friday, July 23, 2010

Would you like that kick to the head with or without hobnails?

Arrogant Bastard is the kind of beer that punches you in the face, laughs, and takes your lunch money. It's not that it's the jock of beers. Hell, most jocks don't have the cajones to handle Arrogant Bastard. No. It's more like the guy who just doesn't give a fuck. He's the one who likes to pretend to punch you in the face, and see how close he can get without actually hitting you, but doesn't apologize if he doesn't stop in time.

This is a beer that just doesn't give a fuck what you think. Your opinion is worthless. Your judgment is irrelevant.  Your personal preferences bring into question your character, if only this beer cared about questioning your character.

You want hops? It's got 'em. There's a tich of fruit, and a smidgen of spice, and about six or eight tons of bitter. You like malt? It's got that, too, in abundance. There's a little coffee flavor, and quite a bit of caramel, and it's like the malt got a bunch of body piercings and dressed all in leather just to impress the hops. This is the kind of beer that would shop at Hot Topic because it wanted to scare the kinds of kids that shop at Hot Topic to be cool.

If Arrogant Bastard were a band, it'd be The Pixies. It's loud and obnoxious, and surprisingly pleasurable, and it sneers at all the others who copy it.

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