Holy price/performance, Batman!

Okay. Say you are a little tight on cash. The fucking dog got into your stash of Reisen chocolates and ate the whole fucking bag. Even the bag. You had to take the little bastard to the vet to get his stomach pumped, and now you're broke.

Fucking little bastard.

Your beer money is limited to what you can find in the couch. Reaching down through the accumulated dog hair, shredded tennis balls, and half-eaten rawhides (fucking bastard), you manage to collect about $6.53 in pennies, quarters, dimes, nickels, and your lucky silver dollar that disappeared over a year ago.

That ain't enough for a six of Alaskan Double-Black IPA. Hell, that ain't even enough for a six of Shiner Bock. (I'd link to their site, but the stupid motherfuckers use flash.)

What to do, what to do.

Head down to Trader Joe's, is what to do, and get a six of Trinity Red Ale for $6. Seriously. This is decent stuff. And, it seems to be made by the same folks who make Goose Island Honker's Ale.

Sure, you're not going to sit at work dreaming of coming home to a bottle of this stuff. It's far from the greatest beer in the world. It has a fantastic red color, but that's an almost-cruel deception. The slightly-creamy head also promises much. The beer itself does not live up to these promises.

The real experience is simply not quite as grand as the initial impression. It's a tasty beer, don't get me wrong. It has a nice malty flavor, almost sweet. There's not a lot of hops, but it's just enough to remind you this is beer you're drinking, not kvass. Mostly, this beer is mild. It's like Clark Kent who never becomes Superman. It's like pipe tobacco smells before you smoke it.

This ain't gonna light your fuckin' fire. It's decent, it's cheap, and it's good beer. This ain't your typical effluent Bud or Miller. It's almost as cheap, and it's good.

It just ain't great.

If this beer were a car, it'd be an inexpensive compact. Say, a Toyota Matrix.